Felicia’s Gossip Column

Dear Diary,

What a week! How ‘bout those Jameson Girls? You are likely asking, “Where the hell WERE those naughty J-girls?” Well, let Felicia explain. Apparently the babes got cold feet, one complaining that she had to get up at 6 a.m., and the other refusing to get in the car without her friend. Not that Felicia patrons were disappointed. Felicia showed the liquor distributor dude that her patrons know how to have fun, even without hotties with french manicures, although patrons of collegetown bars may not have been quite so gracious. If you were one of the lucky ones to be here on Wednesday night, you know we were packed with giddy people who were drinking free Jameson and whooping it up. Let Felicia point out that free alcohol does appear to cause a bit of drunkenness, as demonstrated so gracefully by Karl and Leah, and by some others as well, but it’s all kind of hazy…Felicia doesn’t have a very good memory of the night…

The next day brought us the excitement of the Adrianne show at Castaways. What a fantastic sound system Castaways has! Felicia could have a sound system like that, if we removed all of the tables and chairs and couches. Unfortunately we could probably only fit about 10 people in the lounge with all the ginormous speakers. The most exciting part of the Adrianne show was the bar fight. Fortunately we don’t have bar fights at Felicia’s. At least not so far. By the way, if you missed the show, you can catch Adrianne at Felicia’s on May 20th.

St. Patrick’s Day itself at O’Felicias was not as rowdy as the rest of the week. Perhaps all the hooligans in town were at O’Learys, Kilpatricks and Micawbers. Felicia did serve green beer, cheap guinness and a boatload of Jameson to lots of happy customers dressed in green. No leprechauns though. Except little Amber who was sighted at Felicia’s on Wednesday, and who loves to be mentioned in Felicia’s blog. (Eesah says “hi”, Amber, and looks forward to his next snuggle with you).

When she’s not drinking and entertaining, Felicia has been hard at work with preparations for the alley/patio. That’s right, some outdoor seating, complete with a cocktail waitress. No, “waitress” sounds so specific, like a petite young lass with big bosoms waiting on businessmen with tassle-toed shoes and cigars in their mouths. Perhaps we’ll call it a cocktail runner instead. Or a travelling Felicia server. Now all we need is for the weather to warm up! Hopefully we’ll be serving outdoors before the end of April. Felicia is sure you’ve also heard the brunch rumors. One thing at a time. Felicia needs her beauty rest, too.

Oh! Felicia almost forgot to mention that she updated her photo album. Mardi Gras pictures are finally up, as well as a special Eesah photo album. Go to our website at www.atomicloungeithaca.com and click on the photos link in the bottom left corner. Send Felicia your photos and maybe they’ll be put on the site. (Tip: Your chances of getting your photos on Felicia’s website will increase if the photos are not taken when you are drunk!) And if you are travelling out of the area, get yourself a Felicia tshirt and send us some Roaming Felicia pics!

Fondly,
Felicia

Dear Diary,

Felicia just wrote a verbose diary entry and then somehow deleted the whole f***ing thing. It was a good one, too. Blah! Here’s a summary of Headlines because Felicia is too deflated to write the whole darn entry again:

1. Cranky Amelia’s Pie Strike to End Soon
2. Sign Up For Felicia’s Music/Announcement/Email List If You Want To Be In The Know
3. Alley to Open This Spring with Outdoor Seating and Table Service
4. Other Spring Surprises in Store
5. “Fudge You”
6. Wait, let Felicia pour herself some more Maker’s Mark….that’s better….
7. Felicia’s Is Your Home Away From Home, Even in the Dead of Winter
8. February Music includes Pamela Means, Jen Foster, Five 2 and Minden Jones, and the cello player Lindsay Mack Will Be Here in March!

So that’s Felicia’s summary, some of which doesn’t make sense without the full text, but accidental late night diary deletions cause mood swings for Felicia. Perhaps I’ll start over again later. Perhaps not.

Fondly (but with significant frustration),
Felicia

Dear Diary,

Felicia is feeling a little low with the recent snow. But wait! Now it’s warm and raining. Felicia is confused, but actually finds the rain cleansing and appreciates the delay of more snow. Whatever will Felicia do to pass the cold, dark days in the next three months??? Drink, of course. But wait! There’s more! Felicia has started the Travelling Lounge. Our first event was bringing the Travelling Bar to Jason’s housewarming party. Felicia had a wonderful time schmoozing and mixing martinis. Big thanks to the hosts, Jason and Jerry. Those men know how to throw a party. You, too, can have Felicia in your living room, impressing your friends with her sexy martini mixing skills. Felicia aims to please.

Enough about Felicia! Did you get your flu shot? Felicia did. Ouch. At the Target flu clinic, along with intelligent Felica patrons Jim and Amber. You go, Jim and Amber! At least the three of us won’t be sick this winter. Everyone else is going to be very, very jealous when they are aching and fevered and stuck in bed while we’re living the good life at Felicia’s. The big bummer is, the Tompkins County health department isn’t giving any more public flu shots. So now you have to go to your own physician if you want your shot and pay for both a copay and a shot. I don’t understand. They said there wouldn’t be a flu shot shortage this year. At any rate, Felicia says, it’s worth the money! Do you remember how much it sucks to get the flu? It sucks bad. Really bad.

Speaking of famous patron sightings at Target, Felicia keeps waiting for Whoopie Goldberg to come into the lounge. What, did she break up with her Trumansburg boyfriend already? Or are they just too good for us? Whoopie, you don’t know what you’re missing?? If we are all Felicia, does that mean that Whoopie is Felicia, too? Whoah. That’s deep. Whoopie Felicia. Someone buy her a Felicia tshirt. Who knows, Leah and Amelia just might be celebrity magnets. Leah used to hang out with Gene Shallit (I have no idea how to spell his name), the guy who reviewed movies for Good Morning America or one of those early a.m. shows that we’re never awake for. And Amelia met the president of Mexico, Vicente Fox, about 15 years ago when he wasn’t president yet and when she was a young, hopeful liberal out to change the world (she’s since become a bit jaded, but that’s a whole other story…).

OK, another thing to file into your brain….Are you looking for a cool, hip gift to give your niece or nephew this Christmas, something that will freak out your brother or sister and maybe even get you banned from their house for a few months? Then Felicia has a gift for you: The Young Mixologist Kit: An 8 ounce stainless steel mini shaker with two plastic martini glasses, packaged together with some plastic swizzle sticks and foam drink coasters expressly for that young tyke who wants to mimic his cocktail drinking Auntie or Uncle. Felicia says, why not?? Japan has a non-alcoholic kids beer that looks and tastes like Budweiser and is getting rave reviews. Encourage responsible drinking and creative cocktail mixing while the youngins are impressionable. Start that kid on learning some real life skills now, because affording college could be a dream in another ten or fifteen years. Ask Amelia for details next time you are at the bar; these Young Mixologist Kits should be available at Felicia’s in the first or second week of December, just in time for Santa to get them wrapped and delivered.

And for you, the mature Felicia, coming very soon, grownup Felicia hoodie sweatshirts and knit caps. Too cool. Shut up.

Fondly,
Felicia

Dear Diary,
Felicia is hungover, along with the whole county of Tompkins, every resident of which showed up for the party. What a night! Perhaps the biggest night at Felicia’s to date. We were overrun with Dead Prom Queens, and a few Kings were also floating around here and there but we could have definitely used a bit more testosterone in the place. Charles the Pirate Queen and King Becca were crowned at midnight, voted into office by the applause-o-meter. If I had my druthers, I would vote Karl as the Creepiest Queen of the night, especially with that musty fur coat on, straight out of the grave. You, dear readers, can see a few pictures on our website - click on the photo album link on our homepage (www.atomicloungeithaca.com). If you have any good photos from the night, send them to Felicia!
Fondly,
Felicia

Dear Diary,
Felicia has never had a blog before. Felicia never even considered having a blog, until about 5 minutes ago. I don’t know what happened. I guess I just got caught up in the craze, conceitedly thinking that someone would want to read Felicia’s Diary, to know what’s happening in her life, perhaps the latest bar gossip (like what man did Margot Felicia get stuck in the bathroom with last week? And who kissed Rory Stitt?). So, before I get too far down the muddy blogging path, what do you think? Should Felicia have a blog???? I do value your opinion, I swear. After all, we are all Felicia.
Fondly,
Felicia